- The first night we had Jaxson home from the hospital was one to remember. As brand new parents, we were clueless. He was perfect in the hospital, and of course when we get home he screamed all night. After going through all the things I could think of, I wondered if he was sick and decided to check his temperature. On our bed. Without anything between him and our covers. Needless to say, the thermometer caused an explosion of pee and meconium all over our bed. No fever! And for the record, no three day old should have that much pee and poo come out at once. I'm just saying.
- Jaxson was four months old when he started coughing and making a very strange noise upon inhaling. His face was bright red, and he just wasn't breathing well. I patted his back and tried to burp him, but nothing. It was getting worse, so I called the pediatrician, who advised me to call 911! With the 911 operator on the phone I tried everything to fix Jaxson. I was beating his back while holding him at a 45 degree angle with the floor in case he had something lodged in his throat. Nothing was helping, and he just kept making the strangest sound while trying to breathe. It was terrible. I tried to nurse him to get him to calm down, but he couldn't swallow the milk. Finally, the fire department showed up. The captain himself ran into my house and picked up Jaxson who promptly burped in his face. Then he stopped screaming, his breathing returned to normal, and he smiled at the captain. So there I sit on the couch crying. Was I crying because I was relieved Jaxson was okay, or was I crying over the embarrassment of not being able to burp my own baby? Or was it because my boob was still hanging out from when I tried to nurse him? Who knows, but man did I cry. I can only imagine the words in that fire truck on their way back to the station.
- When Jaxson started learning to talk we had some good times with him. Like most children, Jaxson made the wrong sounds for some letters. For instance, instead of frog, he would say a certain four letter word. One day the two of us were grocery shopping at a particularly busy time of day. Jaxson spotted a frog, and begins yelling, "F#$%, F#$%, F#$%" over and over. And over. I realize what he's trying to say, so every time he yells, "F#$%" his crazy mother yells, "FROG" as loud as she can. I don't want people thinking I say the f-bomb in front of my baby! Imagine walking down an aisle at the grocery store hearing nothing but, "F#$%, FROG, F#$%, FROG, F#$%, FROG!" Sheesh. Come to think of it, maybe I did say a four letter word after the incident with the fire captain.
- Want to hear about Jaxson's first two major boo-boos? Yep, my fault. Once we were playing, and I threw him a little too hard. Face first into the cabinet in his bedroom. Oops. The second time I put him on the top of a slide and said, "Don't slide down until Mommy is at the bottom to catch you." Yeah, he didn't listen. He flew off the end of the slide and bit into his lip. Mother of the Year Award.
- When I was potty training Jaxson he refused to poop in the potty. It was the last bit of control he had, and he refused to give in. He would just poop in his underwear. Finally, two weeks before his third birthday I told him that he could NOT turn 3 until he pooped in the potty. No Polar Express party, no hot chocolate, and definitely not turning three. He looked at me long and hard, said, "okay" and pooped in the potty on the spot. Little turd. Pun intended.
Really, I could go on and on with hilarious stories about my life with Jaxson. He surely keeps me on my toes! I love him more than he'll ever know. It seems like I just had him yesterday. Time flies. How can he be 5 already?!?!?! FROG!!!!
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